snuggles

Motherhood is amazing, I will just say that. Tonight Mark had a tutoring client he had to meet up with, so Abe and I did his bedtime routine alone. It's a lot more work when you're doing it alone. For all you single moms or army moms or moms with second or third shift dads, kudos to you, seriously.

It went smoothly. We've done it often enough that we've got the hang of it -- checked for poopy diapers waiting to be rinsed and rung, put all the toys away, cleared out the crib, made sure the towel was in the bathroom (and not on the drying rack) before he got into the bathtub, got the PJs, diaper, and sleep sack ready. You know, routine.

Mark usually reads him to sleep -- Dr. Seuss, nursery rhymes, a Bible story, then some huge work -- Lord of the Rings, Chronicles of Narnia, Shakespeare...whatever he is in the mood for. As soon as mark opens the 'huge work' Abe is usually out. But with me it's different. He doesn't calm down quite the same. That is what happens when you break someone's routine. Tonight he just wasn't into my story-reading. So I turned the side light off and he nuzzled into the crook of my neck. That is how he fell asleep. It doesn't happen often anymore, his sleep is his and ours is ours. But, let me tell you, when it does happen, it makes me cry! it feels so good.

The glare of the kitchen light tonight, reminded me of the many many nights we kept our closet light on and the door cracked for when he woke up. And he did so inevitably for the first two months and then from four to eight months at least once a night. And each time he woke, he went back to sleep in the crook of my neck. Eight months...it's been almost double that that he hasn't needed me at night -- he'll be sixteen months a week from tomorrow. Bittersweet. I love my sleep, but I also love my baby boy.