list

About a year and a half ago I bought a little notepad for the sole purpose of keeping a list of things I wanted to pray about. Sometimes, I get on my knees and I could talk and talk and talk for an hour. Most times, however, I get on my knees and I get lost. So the list is really great for remembering to pray for things, meanwhile helping to keep me focussed.

There are a few things I have checked off the list because they are no longer relevant. "Irrelevant prayers?" Yes! They've been answered. I am not sure that if it's more inspiring to have a list or to have things scratched off... Here are a few of the things that have been checked off:

• [One of my best friends who will remain unnamed]'s family being replaced (she chose Living over her family's choice to leave Living). (She is now on the verge of engagement. And she might wring my neck if she knew I was blogging about her... :)
• Lana Moluf
• Getting pregnant (HA!), finding a doctor, er midwife (not sure I actually WROTE and prayed consistently about my 'planned' birth experience...)
• [Another girlfriend]'s heart being healed, and joy replaced. (She had a really terrible breakup, and was having a really hard time recovering. She is now planning the day she will wed the man she calls her soul mate.)
• [Another friend to remain unnamed who had]'s postartum depression, bonding with her beautiful baby girl.

These may seem obscure to you, but they were my prayers. And they were answered. God is good.

green er er er

Thinking about composting. Not that I have a pile at the apt. But Jaime & Jason have one.

I wish I had a line to dry my laundry on. Again, not at the apt. What a fun and efficient way to cut expenses no? And bleach diapers. :)

Should we buy a house?

it's how we roll

So about those 2 hour naps. haha. Lasted that day and that day only. The next day Abe took one 1.5 hour nap, one 1 hour nap and one 30 minute nap. [30 minute naps are not long enough to give anyone "restorative" sleep. They are the proverbial "power nap." Restorative sleep -- 45 minutes, plus -- is really best.] The next day it was something like 1 hr., 45 minutes, 30 minutes, needed another, but refused, so I put him in his swing for a half hour. The next day was worse and the next worse, etc. In that time he ROLLED OVER. Yay, Abraham! Rolling over means breaking of the swaddle cold turkey. Tying his arms close to him for each nap (he didn't need it at nighttime, except when we were travelling) really calmed him, so we did it...until now. So much changing for the little guy.

We changed his bedtime. I thought putting him down at 6 was easier since he is so fussy later in the day. No no. I was getting up at least twice a night. If I put him down at 7, he gets up anywhere between 9 and 11, then is back down til anywhere between 6 & 6:30. Nighttime sleep is gooood for Mommy! :) And Daddy. And Baby...

This is the conclusion I keep coming back to: if I roll with it, he'll be fine and so will I. The guidance that seems to be the most accurate, though not necessarily so directive is: "If he's pooping & peeing, he's fine." Ha. Well, I can promise you he's doing that!

sleep

I cannot believe I have a little bit of time to actually blog. Prayers: check, bread made: check, shower: check, blown-dry hair: check. Abe's is down for his second nap of the day. It's taken us until he is 5 months to figure out daytime sleep. I started to feel like I was going crazy when he was 4 weeks old. I gave it some more time (because letting him 'cry it out' was horrendous), then felt crazy again by 8 weeks. He slept through the night from 8 weeks (and, yes, I let him cry it out. It took swaddling him to let him fall asleep on his own. We still swaddle, and for us, it equates sanity.) t0 18 weeks. But he was only taking 1/2 hour - hour long naps during the day. I hesitate to call Abraham cranky, but he didn't seem to be rested. So at 18 weeks I decided we needed to try something else. (To this point we had been doing BabyWise, with much guidance of a good friend to whom I will be forever indebted!) I am no longer a fan of dogmatic suppositions of any kind. Thank you, motherhood. If I say, "We're doing 'Healthy Sleep Habits,'" I'd be dogmatic. If I said, "Yeah, we did BabyWise, and it sucked," I'd also be dogmatic. Babywise did a couple of amazing things -- Abe can fall asleep if I wake him while putting him in his crib and he can fall back asleep on his own during the night. He naps. Oh, he naps. Thank you, BabyWise for teaching me that babies DO nap! There are others that are not at the top of my brain right now, I am sure.

Healthy Sleep Habits teaches the importance of napping, too, but it is much more flexible. One rule: never wake a sleeping baby. This is a rule of thumb. It speaks specifically to the first few months of life. Baby brains need to develop and mommies have to be patient and wait for their development to occur. It teaches that eventually kids' sleep habits will organize themselves, especially with a little guidance from Mom. When they get to be Abe's age -- 5 months, plus, it's okay to let them fuss a little. We just got back from trip to NC. All normal sleep patterns are essentially tossed until we get home. The second night we were home, I let him fuss through his first waking (I don't think he was really awake, because when Abe's really awake and needs something, he has always been very vocal. This "fussing" was "eh, eeeeh, eeeeeh. eh...") and it took him 15 minutes, but then he was back asleep.

Another thing I've changed is that I do comfort him to sleep. Many, many baby sleep books and theorists say to let them fall asleep on their own -- hugs and kiss, set them in the crib and walk away. While I see the benefit in that, it didn't work with Abe. He cried for 2 days before I swaddled him. Then he started just lying there making baby noise until he fell asleep 40 minutes later, only to wake 30 minutes after that. Maddening. So I went back to rocking him. (Until he was 8 weeks I was in the rocker 8 hours a day...again, maddening.) It takes less than 10 minutes (if I respond to his tired cues in good time) of rocking, then I wrap him up, he either stays or falls back to sleep for at least an hour (today it's been 2 hours) at a time.

So I've given up 8 hours of solid sleep for daytime sleep. Abe now regularly sleeps for 1.5 to 2 hours 2 or 3 times a day. It's amazing. He has a bedtime routine that begins at 6:30 -- shower, lotion, PJs, storytime with Daddy, rock to sleep. He usually gets up once, usually about 9 (before we go to bed), and then again at some point in the evening. But then he's back down until 6. Hopefully by the time his 6 months he will drop those 2 wakings and will be sleeping through the night from 6 to 6. That's what Healthy Sleep Habits *says* he'll do. Again, we'll see; don't want to be dogmatic. They do say that once they're 6 months, it's okay to start them on a routine -- morning nap at such and such a time, afternoon nap, evening nap (if they'll take one...). We may start that once I see if this 2 hour nap thing is for real :)

When I first had him, I didn't want to hear, "You just have to figure out your baby." And, "Don't you wish they came with an instruction manual." But it is SO true. Abe is an amazing individual. With time, I have found what is best for him. And I can honestly say that I think I am doing the very best for our baby.