sleep

I cannot believe I have a little bit of time to actually blog. Prayers: check, bread made: check, shower: check, blown-dry hair: check. Abe's is down for his second nap of the day. It's taken us until he is 5 months to figure out daytime sleep. I started to feel like I was going crazy when he was 4 weeks old. I gave it some more time (because letting him 'cry it out' was horrendous), then felt crazy again by 8 weeks. He slept through the night from 8 weeks (and, yes, I let him cry it out. It took swaddling him to let him fall asleep on his own. We still swaddle, and for us, it equates sanity.) t0 18 weeks. But he was only taking 1/2 hour - hour long naps during the day. I hesitate to call Abraham cranky, but he didn't seem to be rested. So at 18 weeks I decided we needed to try something else. (To this point we had been doing BabyWise, with much guidance of a good friend to whom I will be forever indebted!) I am no longer a fan of dogmatic suppositions of any kind. Thank you, motherhood. If I say, "We're doing 'Healthy Sleep Habits,'" I'd be dogmatic. If I said, "Yeah, we did BabyWise, and it sucked," I'd also be dogmatic. Babywise did a couple of amazing things -- Abe can fall asleep if I wake him while putting him in his crib and he can fall back asleep on his own during the night. He naps. Oh, he naps. Thank you, BabyWise for teaching me that babies DO nap! There are others that are not at the top of my brain right now, I am sure.

Healthy Sleep Habits teaches the importance of napping, too, but it is much more flexible. One rule: never wake a sleeping baby. This is a rule of thumb. It speaks specifically to the first few months of life. Baby brains need to develop and mommies have to be patient and wait for their development to occur. It teaches that eventually kids' sleep habits will organize themselves, especially with a little guidance from Mom. When they get to be Abe's age -- 5 months, plus, it's okay to let them fuss a little. We just got back from trip to NC. All normal sleep patterns are essentially tossed until we get home. The second night we were home, I let him fuss through his first waking (I don't think he was really awake, because when Abe's really awake and needs something, he has always been very vocal. This "fussing" was "eh, eeeeh, eeeeeh. eh...") and it took him 15 minutes, but then he was back asleep.

Another thing I've changed is that I do comfort him to sleep. Many, many baby sleep books and theorists say to let them fall asleep on their own -- hugs and kiss, set them in the crib and walk away. While I see the benefit in that, it didn't work with Abe. He cried for 2 days before I swaddled him. Then he started just lying there making baby noise until he fell asleep 40 minutes later, only to wake 30 minutes after that. Maddening. So I went back to rocking him. (Until he was 8 weeks I was in the rocker 8 hours a day...again, maddening.) It takes less than 10 minutes (if I respond to his tired cues in good time) of rocking, then I wrap him up, he either stays or falls back to sleep for at least an hour (today it's been 2 hours) at a time.

So I've given up 8 hours of solid sleep for daytime sleep. Abe now regularly sleeps for 1.5 to 2 hours 2 or 3 times a day. It's amazing. He has a bedtime routine that begins at 6:30 -- shower, lotion, PJs, storytime with Daddy, rock to sleep. He usually gets up once, usually about 9 (before we go to bed), and then again at some point in the evening. But then he's back down until 6. Hopefully by the time his 6 months he will drop those 2 wakings and will be sleeping through the night from 6 to 6. That's what Healthy Sleep Habits *says* he'll do. Again, we'll see; don't want to be dogmatic. They do say that once they're 6 months, it's okay to start them on a routine -- morning nap at such and such a time, afternoon nap, evening nap (if they'll take one...). We may start that once I see if this 2 hour nap thing is for real :)

When I first had him, I didn't want to hear, "You just have to figure out your baby." And, "Don't you wish they came with an instruction manual." But it is SO true. Abe is an amazing individual. With time, I have found what is best for him. And I can honestly say that I think I am doing the very best for our baby.