nasty

When my mom uses the word nasty, it refers to something absolutely dispicable. She does not use it lightly. When I was a teenager, there were many a time when she would comment on my being "nasty." Can you picture me with the usual teenage and female borax & vinegar? I can still hear, "Amanda Jane, do not be so nasty." [with a hiss -- na-ahhh-sty.]

I had an epiphany at the Feast. Epiphanies are beautiful things. I get the same feeling when I walk along the flower garden and suddenly realize that there's a new blossom. "Humph, beautiful it is." The Feast this year was just that. The more excited I got about my ah-ha, the more it was like no other...that has ever existed.

I explained my ah-ha in an earlier post...we can use each other; our faith grows and multiplies the more bonded we are as brethren and the more we trust in our Creator for any number of different miracles and answers to prayers.

The more I talked to people the more I realized that many are coming from completely different perspectives on how God answers prayers. If someone disagrees or has a different approach on a matter, it doesn't make them wrong or Laodecian or weak. If I have an amanda-epiphany and most of my friends completely support me and someone else who I love and respect puts a wet blanket on the fire, it doesn't make him wrong. It means that in his wisdom and love, he has a different perspective. If I get angry at him because he offers counsel that I wasn't expecting or that I didn't want to hear, I have to swallow it. What good does my hurt heart to anyone -- even myself? Where does my heart go when my pride is hurt? To myself - inwardly. In no way does being angry, wallowing in my pride, at another's opinion do me any good. Mama Evans echoes, "Amanda Jane, do not be so nasty." "Yes, ma'am."

The longer I am in the church of God, the more I appreciate a lesson I learned from Messrs. R. McNair in my first Dance class at GYC 1996 -- there is a way of give and there is a way of get. Truly, if any of the good things that I learn are going to make a bit of difference, I have to live the way of give, unconditionally. So I ask, and if He really is capable of answering in the untold millions of ways He could, He will. ...really, that is the ah-ha.